pOlArBEaR

All these while, I thought I can walk and fight in the waves of the big ocean on my very own, and run in the dark hole that full of thorns of poisoned rose . Unfortunately all these silly thoughts will only just really stay as a “ Thoughts “ only, and it will never come true in the reality world. Imagination is the only hope that I can count on , to make myself happier or at least it might be adding some smile into this ruined life of a naïve boy . A life without any happy memories but with a lots of smile, its my life , everything is a fake . I have always try to fake to be happy and smile to all those peoples because by trying to do this those people will never know what kind of life I have been leading all the while . A life that full of lies is just so terrible . But I know I have to keep on doing like this , putting a mask on the face all the time , pretending and acting is all the skill and strategy we need to have to complete our self in this century . In this dogs bites dogs world , everything seem so cruel and cold , the warmness of the human’s heart have already extinct long times ago . The won’t be any real love nor free lunch in this brand new era of masquerade humanism.  A human with a true heart will only get laughs, tease and of course cheated by the new developing human being which can be called “ Cold Blooded Walking Corpses” , or maybe “ Merciless Creatures “ . Keep on leaning in this kind of silly thoughts will only bring us to a dumb or stupid life where we will be labeled as

“ Brainless Buffalos” or a better nickname like “ Stupidilicious “ . And so on , I called out all human beings in the entire world to wake up and learn to get yourself into the masquerade humanism world . Thank You .

what i can do ?

i m so tired, i m exhausted,

i m all alone fighting the wars ,

between my will and my should ,

my will ask me not to give up of you ,

my should urge me to give up of you ,

and again i m so confused ,

what should i do ,

i must choose ,

or else i m going to be wandering in this space,

of loneliness n being a soul without its spirit ,

a body without the warmness of a human,

a mind without a logical thought….

a boy without its dreams,

a human of nothing

recently i have been thinking too much , keep on thinking bout everything in my life, tis make my every nite a sleepless nite , i cant sleep , i cant breath whenever i thinking of u , maybe becoz loving u was not easy , but i never thought i would be so hard n tough ,

n i reli thought tat i could fight all the waves all by myself , but now i know i was wrong , totally wrong ! sadness have got me bad , i m totally exhausted wit ur behaviour n how u treat me !! i m sick of u !!

i m even sick of myself , for being too naive n stupid !!

i always understand tat u will never love me , but i keep on thinking tat if i could wait for the miracles to happen , or at least u dun love me but treat me as a good frens of yours ,

its enough !! i have suffered enough !!! I wanna give up !!!

i still believe the feeling ,

i know its true,

but for a very simple reason ,

you have avoid from me,

because you love me ,

but you understand that a fact ,

that  its imposibble for us to be together ,

being around together ,

will only lead us both ,

to an even suffered love ,

a forbidden love ,

loving each  other in the heart ,

but never can be together …….,

you do a lotz to make me hate of you ,

to make our relationship worst ,

yes , you are right ,

that is hurting me ,

but it can never stop me from loving you ,

the more you do ,

the deeper i love ,

no matter what you do ,

or no matter how hurt i am ,

i’ll hold my tears ,

until the day ,

u look into my eyes ,

and tell me ,

" I don’t love you " .