pOlArBEaR

today i look into your eyes , i still can feel the Crash between us , i know there are sumthings that stuck between both of our heart , but it juz need sum times for both of us to took it out ,& forget those unhappy things that happen inthe pass, n now i can see that you already put it down as i am , n i can feel that both of us are feeling much more better now , eventhough you never tell me the reason , but actually i know , n i understand well , because there are sumthings we cant fight through it , maybe it can , but it will only hurt us both , it might be taking a very very long time , a time we couldnt imagine , its a long destination , its a hard way to go , it wasnt easy to fight through the law of nature , love is just sumthing that we can keep inside our heart for the rest of our life , we have lock it , n i m  sure on the day u die , the person u think is me , no one can lie,when they talk with their eyes , coz the feel when u look at me , was a warm warm feeling ,felt like being hug , n i know u must feel very sorry , but u cant tell ……. i just hope that you colud lead a better life as i will ….., i still love for who u are .

am

its have been quite a long time we didnt talk to each other , eventhough you think that its nothing for you , but i do really care , concern about you , i still love you …..,i may look like so tough n strong , i may not cry , but who knows how hard i felt when you treated me like a HOLLOW , like invisible ,i keep on trying my best to talk to you , to attract you ,but u still stand on your will , not to talk to me anymore ……, do you know tat how sad i felt when i m thinking about the pass , how good we are , how sweet we use to be , but surely you have already forget everything ,  now i m just a THE PAST TENSE FRIEND of yours , a " Big Rubbish " you’ve thrown out of your life , i supppose to be a " Usefull Tools " before , but now i m an ANBANDONED TOOLS , which is USELESS !!!! my life without you was like a human without it souls, a rainbow without its colours , a tree without its leaves , a dictionary without its meanings , since the day you told me the words , i have lost , lost my conscious , lost my passion , lost my way , lost the meaning to keep on living ….., but i told myself , i can let you go , u have hurt me so deep , so deep…. , i convince myself to forget you , n i promise myself to start a new life , write a new diary without a single words of u , or any feel related to u … but unfortunately , when i start to write onthe 1st page , n the 1st words i wrote is your name ……, n on that moment , my tears keep falling on the page, a page that show how fragile i am , the page that shows how useless i m , a page thats shows i still cant let go of you , a page that shows how much i love you ….my tears keep on falling a & wets the entire books , not just a page, i cant start a new life without you, i really hope that both of us can lead a new happy life , but it seems you are the only who able to do tat , maybe it was bcoz there are no love in you , but i can tell you the time i have to use to forget you is the time of my whole life …….., but still  i will try , no matter how hard……coz i wanted to grap back a small bites of my self esteem which you have took it away from me on the day i love you ……………..