Archive for February, 2009

the end means the beginning of another story…..

when today end , tomorow will come …

when the night is over , the day will come …

as our story have end , a new story will be begin…

i really thought of letting go of you for my entire life , but when i saw you , when u talk to me , when i see you smile … i really cant let you dissapear from my new story , you are really so important to me , important than anything in my life , even sometimes i really feel that you are more important than myself … but when i started to write the new story , you will only appear in 1st chapter …as you will leave here too , even faster than me…i really feel so miss you when i’m thinking of your leaving , i really don’t know when we will meet again & when u appear again in my life , in my story ….

an ending that make me cry the most , pain the most…..

“every story have its own ending , either a happy ending or a sad ending…., from the beginning i really thought our story would have a happy ending or maybe at least an ending that me smile,i never ever thought of having this kind of ending,an ending that make me cry the most , my heart pain the most …..”

the story of mine is a story of sacrification , a story where a naive boy being treated as a fool by his best friend , a friend he love & care the most …..from the beginning i really thought the relationship between best friend is something without any limitations nor calculation, as long as i see you happy , as long as i see u smile …i will do anything even sometimes i’ve to sacrifice my own happiness , wealth , times & everythings , but i always told myself that its worth it , as long as i think it help you , it make you happy ….but today when it comes to the end , you told me that friend is not like the way i treat you , its somethings that we need to count , need to calculate . you even told that humans is selfish… from that moment you told me that i know there is nothing can be discuss anymore , there is nothing to be say anymore, sometimes i really don’t know the real power of some singles words that can even make me cry & make mt heart pain so much , that words not only make me cry & pain but it also have kill our friendship where its brings not only dissapointed but also the death of my heart …i cry , cry & cried like a crazy guys , i shout like an insane guy as i also slap myself for few times to make sure myself wake up , to make sure i end the story even i know its not an ending i want …., but i will make sure i will have a better life from today onwards because my pass is too terribble for me to remember …i really hope you too can have a happier life after i leave , even i know there won’t be friendship between us but still i wish u all the best , take care always ….i will be always love you but from far away

when i really know you don’t care…..

today is just like the other day , not a happy day ….,

i sit at the living room , a living room that is totally empty …just like my life, empty…without anyone care of me , but actually that doesn’t really matter , what make me feel even worst is the way you treat me , like a stupid , like a tool & like a fool … when i really know you don’t care of my feeling , my heart was so paining ….i cry , cry & cried , eventhough i know cry can’t solve the problem ,  can’t help me anything but beside crying i really don’t know what else i can do …. maybe after i cry i would feel better i think ….hopefully i cry & shout like a crazy guy alone in the living room & it really help , i really felt much more better , & even thinking of a best way to get myself out of this s**t relationship , i rather f**ked OFF myself to get away from this kinda stuffz …i know its enough,enough !!!! Beside giving up i really don’t know what to do coz from the beginning i already know the result , from the start i already know i don’t even have the qualification to get myself into the games , coz i don’t even have the very basic qualification , just like asking someone blind to participate in marathon …..it is imposibble & i really understand now , but what i don’t understand is i already don’t have the qualifications to enter the games but why do the ” Participant ” still keep on doing things that make me feel bad & sad , maybe she really hate me so much !!! i lose from the beginning ….but why still you wanna hurt me so….love is not my fault but i will go,i promise…as long as i m not around you , you & her might grew better ,as i can forget you easier  …..i will try not to love you but can you promise me not to hurt me anymore as i am human , i got feelings too….