pOlArBEaR

everything came in a lightning speed…as a simple ordinary humans i juz cant accept all the truth on my own so fast , so easily….something its not tat easily to be digest or to be forgotten … i don’t know why but i don’t feel this year is a good year for me, where i don’t really think that i m happy or at least not as bad as i felt right now … really bad..within this two months ..a best friends of mine has passed away when he is on his holiday on an island with the one he love…a uncle of mine passed away when he falls downs…death seems to be heard again  & again ….i really scare it will be again …& again, as the feel is too bad !!! the worst is yet to come …when i m all alone byself to accept all these shits , all these terrible news which turns my world into the era of grey…colourless !!! i started to think a lots of things , a lots!!! Turning myself into acoholic ..turning myself into useless garbage…so hard tat i have come so far to work at a stranger place …a place where i don’t know , a place where i gotta leave all of my friends & family …a place where i m all alone to fight the norms of life , the rythms of the lonely nights , the wave of the big ocean , to walk in the dark hole which full of the torns of poisoned roses…doing something i don’t really like … sometimes i really wish to cry , to shout out , or to tell someone how i felt but everyone is too far from me …all of my self-confidence which i owned before have faded away …i lost myself …i keep asking why i should be doing this ….life is too short & fragile , should i keep on doing this , something i don’t like ..or should i move on to something i like …i m too confused ..pls advice ….

a tiring boy…